Books for Parents

In Nurture the Nature, Michael Gurian argues that children are not blank slates to be shaped as we wish. Rather, each is born with a unique core nature--specific needs, strengths, vulnerabilities, and learning style--that cannot be adequately supported with a one-size-fits all approach. “Social trends parenting does not focus on who our children are,” says Gurian, “and it works against the core nature of the individual child, causing children and families to suffer unnecessary anxiety and chronic stress.”

Drawing on twenty-five years of academic research and clinical field study, The Gurian Institute’s work with hundreds of school districts and thousands of parents nationwide, as well as the latest research in brain science in child and adolescent development, Gurian provides readers with the tools they need to uncover their child’s core nature – who their child really is – so each child can flourish and thrive. He explains, for example, that a toddler’s temper tantrum is an internal process that is necessary for emotional growth – parts of the brain literally swell and it’s hard to calm down without the significant outburst of adrenaline that we know as a tantrum. Depending on their core nature, some toddlers are innately better at exploiting their parents through the use of tantrums than others. Gurian advises parents whose toddler routinely throws severe tantrums to let the child have the tantrum – even leave the room if the environment is safe and appropriate – and pre-determine an amount of time before stepping in.

For each stage of development, Gurian describes what parents should be aware of when relating to their children as they grow. For example, he notes that four to six year-olds become naturally attracted to “things”, and explains how parents can protect their children from the dangers of materialism. He also includes solutions from real-life parents, such as Hannah, a mother of three in Houston, who had her children give away a toy every time they got a new toy, starting when they were four years old. For parents of adolescents, it’s crucial that they help their children learn full coping skills for crises and setbacks. Here, Gurian tells the story of Breva, a thirteen year-old hospitalized for anorexia, but who, with the support of her family, was able to get the help she needed, and find her purpose in life. “This family made meaning and mission out of crisis – supporting an individuating core nature, supporting maturity,” says Gurian.

Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys, and Gurian Institute Executive Director Kathy Stevens have written a revolutionary new book which confronts what many parents and teachers believe to be a "boy's crisis." Boys receive up to 70% of the Ds and Fs given all students, they create 90% classroom discipline problems, 80% all high school dropouts are boys, millions of American boys are on Ritalin and other mind-bending control drugs, only 45% college students are boys, and three out of four learning disabled students are boys!

Gurian and Stevens empower parents and teachers by presenting a whole new way of working with boys based on the success of Gurian Institute programs in schools across the country, and the latest research and application of neuro-biological research on how boys' brains actually work, how they are different from girls, and how they can learn very well if they're properly taught.

The Minds of Boys includes ways for every parent to understand and influence how their own boy is doing in terms of the correct learning environment, how boys are motivated, how to use the arts and athletics to teach boys (whether or not they are sensitive boys, aggressive boys, restless or bored boys), the potential options for separate sex education at crucial periods of a boy's life, and how to best utilize the essential role of the parent, teacher, and community.

In The Wonder of Girls, Michael Gurian, himself the father of two girls, provides crucial information for fully understanding the basic nature of girls: up-to-date scientific research on female biology, hormones, and brain development and how they shape girls’ interests, behavior, and relationships.

Michael also offers insight into a culture mired in competition between traditionalism and feminism and a new vision that provides for the equal status of girls and women yet acknowledges their nature as complex and distinct from men. He explains what is “normal” for girls each year from birth to age 20; what developmental needs girls face in each stage; how to communicate effectively with girls; and how to cope with developmental crises such as early sexuality, eating disorders, parental divorce, and more.

With personal insights, practical tips, real-life anecdotes, and accessible science, The Wonder of Girls creates a new parenting paradigm. Key elements include:

a nature-based approach to why girls are the way they are
the connection between the need for profound attachment and the physical and brain development of girls
support for a girl’s inherent need for intimacy
tools to protect girls’ self-esteem and emotional life
a new approach to girls’ character development and rites of passage.

The Wonder of Girls is a revolutionary approach to raising girls that combines groundbreaking biological research with practical parenting advice.

The Good Son is the culminating third volume of Michael Gurian's best-selling series (The Wonder of Boys, A Fine Young Man) about raising young males to become responsible men. Like many recent scholars, such as Gad Cudner (Small Criminal Among Us), Gurian offers ethical explanations of youth violence: his "good son parenting plan" revolves around morality and discipline. Synthesizing Jean Piaget's cognitive and Lawrence Kohlberg's moral stages of development, he gives detailed guidelines for instilling "good virtues" during each of three stages of moral development: obedience (birth to six), convention (seven to 12), and moral intuition (13 to 18). On the other hand, and in contrast to Donald Black (Bad Boys, Mad Men: Confronting Antisocial Personality Disorder, LJ 3/1/99), who emphasizes genetic attribution Gurian thinks that the best explanation for boys' misbehavior is the interplay of biological drives and "character" development. He claims that boys are born with malleable "innate temperaments" that can be transformed into positive "male characteristics" such as self-control, courage, honesty, and sportsmanship. In short, boys can become leaders without resorting to violence. Gurian uses anecdotes to show that raising good sons need not be difficult, and this book is timely, offering an insightful addition to the current debate on youth violence and school shootings.

In A Fine Young Man, Michael Gurian focuses on male adolescence, a crucial stage of development that, he argues, is in crisis today, being both misunderstood and diminished in importance. Drawing on his own research and experience as a psychotherapist, he lays out a picture of male adolescence that is often bleak: adolescent males are four times as likely as females to commit suicide; only one out of six adolescents diagnosed with ADHD is female, and that 90% of adolescent discipline problems in schools are about males. The thrust of his approach, however, is proactive and ultimately imbued with hope. Gurian emphasizes the importance of family in the three distinct stages (transformation, determination and consolidation) of male adolescent development, which can begin as early as nine and extends through the early 20s. In the nurture/nature debate, Gurian falls somewhere in the middle, explaining and validating the importance of both male "hardwiring" (the genetic component) as well as emotional and cultural "soft wiring." With persuasive eloquence, Michael n outlines thoughtful and practical steps parents and other caregivers can take to create the kind of positive role-models and nurturing support systems that will help boys successfully negotiate the passage to manhood.

In the thoughtful and provocative The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men, therapist and educator Michael Gurian takes a close look at modern boyhood. Gurian asserts that the biological and neurological differences between boys and girls need to be accounted for and nourished in order to raise healthy, happy boys. In discussing boy culture--and the roles of competition, aggression, and physical risk taking--Michael concludes, "It's not boy culture that's inherently flawed; it's the way we manage it." If the natural, testosterone-based impulses of boys are squelched or ignored, Gurian posits, such biological truths may find their way to the surface in other, more negative behaviors. He suggests that boys do best when they are part of a "tribe," three families that include: a birth or adoptive family; an extended family of friends, teachers, peers, and mentors; and the "family" of outside culture, media, religious institutions, and community figures. The Wonder of Boys offers advice on how to understand and build strong father/son and mother/son relationships, stresses the importance of healthy discipline, and suggests methods of teaching boys about sex, relationships, and spirituality. Parents and teachers of boys will find this book to be an insightful read.

Michael Gurian shows parents and teachers how to harness the media's influence to teach boys the lessons they need in today's confusing moral environment. The author gives particular ethical lessons for many great movies and books.

Having studied how boys and girls develop differently, Michael Gurian turns his attention to adult men in this entertaining, informative, and groundbreaking book on the male brain. Following two decades of neurobiological research, What Could He Be Thinking? answers the questions women and the world are asking about husbands, fathers, boyfriends, and coworkers. Mixing neurobiology with Gurian's very readable style, anecdotes from everyday life, and a new vision of the male psyche, the book will satisfy the tremendous curiosity women and our culture have about the roots of male behavior. Women know intuitively that men are different from them. What women are now just coming to realize is that the men they are married to, having sex with, working with, parenting with, and trying to fathom, act and think in very male ways, not only because they are socialized to do so, but because they are built to--neurobiologically. The new field of brain science has revealed wonderful secrets about a man's mind. In this book, women who are eager to understand the men in their lives can discover the new brain science in an entertaining way, as they get answers to the prime question every woman asks at some time in her life: What could he be thinking? The book provides fascinating information about the male brain, male habits, male tendencies, and the nuances of men's actions and thoughts. It is a provocative, exciting vision into the minds of men.

In his best-selling classic Boys and Girls Learn Differently, Michael Gurian explained the origin and nature of gender differences in the classroom. His important book explored the behavior teachers observed and the challenges they faced with both boys and girls in their classrooms. Taking the next step, two Strategies for Teaching Boys and Girls workbooks, one for Elementary Level and one for Secondary Level, offer teachers hands-on resources that draw on the Gurian Institute's research and training with public, private, and independent elementary schools, secondary schools and school districts. The workbooks present practical strategies, lessons, and activities that have been field-tested in real classrooms and developed to harness boys' and girls' unique strengths.

These workbooks, co-authored by Kathy Stevens and Kelley King, are designed to help teachers build a solid foundation of learning and study habits that their students can use in the classroom and at home. It covers the key curricular areas and offers proven techniques to make learning, no matter what the subject, more engaging for all students.

These workbook are an essential resource for all teachers who want to improve their practice and get the most from all students—whatever their gender.

Teachers and parents alike have long intuited that boys and girls learn differently. In this book, renowned educator and bestselling author Michael Gurian provides the brain-based research to prove it, and shows the reader how to improve a child's education by knowing the very nature of his or her mind.

In Part 1, combining the fields of neurobiology, anthropology, educational psychology and sociology, Gurian shows the reader how the growing child's brain works, how girls' and boys' brains work differently, how hormones affect these differences, and how acculturation influences the biology. Because Gurian's research stretches to all continents, readers will be intrigued to discover how worldwide are the gender learning differences in the brain, and in homes and classrooms. Part I also looks at areas of learning difficulty boys and girls suffer as distinct groups.

Part 2 provides solutions and applications. Gurian features innovations from around the world, but focuses especially on innovations developed by teachers in six school districts in Kansas City, Missouri, in which the Gurian Institute trained staff to help boys and girls learn differently.

Learning improvement in these school districts was marked, and their innovations fascinating. By the end of this book, teachers, parents and others have a brain-based understanding of the child they are educating, and know how to apply what they know to distinct improvements in not only a child's general education, but also in areas of difficulty related to being a boy and being a girl.